Week 5 – Tomorrow Is Not Promised

Oh yes… I have been one of those people for LOTS of years of my life. I get all excited towards November of each year with the hopes and dreams of all the goals and changes I want to accomplish in the new year. With November 1st being less than a week away, I already feel the excitement of getting out the old magazines and glue sticks… and to put a day on the calendar to redo my vision board and swear to myself that THIS TIME, THIS NEXT YEAR will be the year of profound change to the life I truly desire.

Yep. How’s that working for ya Wendy?

In reality… it’s worked ok. Kinda lukewarm. But still I get some results. But not the PROFOUND results I secretly hope for.

I stumbled upon a thought last night. I’m sure I have had it many times before, yet it registered in my awareness differently this time.

I was reading my nightly reading of The Greatest Salesman In The World by Og Mandino… Scroll One:

Today I begin a new life.

And I make a solemn oath to myself that nothing will retard my new life’s growth. I will lose not a day from these readings for that day cannot be retrieved nor can I substitute another for it. I must not, I will not, break this habit of daily reading from these scrolls and, in truth, the few moments spent each day on this new habit are but a small price to pay for the happiness and success that will be mine.

What I was struck with was the realization that I had formed the habit of depending on tomorrow. Putting things off until…. it was comfortable to do, or I knew “how to do it”, or until I felt like it.

It didn’t make sense. I SAID I wanted it. Really desired it. So much so that I made a super sized vision board encompassing everything I wanted to be, do, and have. I looked at it daily. Matter of fact for the 8 months I went through cancer treatments this year, I would spend most of my time laying in bed so tired from chemo and radiation…. and when I didn’t sleep I focused on these boards.

But last night these words that Og Mandino stirred my innards differently. I can’t put off and wait till tomorrow anymore. I was given a gift of new life this year. I am still alive but with no promise that tomorrow comes. And isn’t it really true for everyone no matter what their health condition is like?

This missing piece from my vision boards was the sense of urgency. The “I really get it now” sudden moment of realization. What the heck I was waiting for all those years?

Doesn’t matter. I am now committed to stepping up my game. Like last week.. 100% but now the urgency has kicked in and it has kicked the game up.

 

 

Week 4 – 100 Percent


In our weekly online class last Sunday, Mark made a statement that was a pivotal moment of realization for me.

He was telling us about his discovery in a moment of time during his life where he realized that he did not give 100% effort to the things he did. It was 70-80%

Just this one thought has stuck through me all week. Am I giving my 100%?

He said that this week would be a determining week for a lot of us in the class. Many of us would decide that giving 100% would be too hard and time consuming… thereby making a decision to let go of attending the class.

Mark also said that some of us would realize that we needed to up the ante and decide to play full out and give our 100% to stay in the class and even make more effort to our weekly readings and homework.

I went through this week with a continuous conscious thought in everything I was doing… “am I doing this (thing) with 100% of my effort?”

Many times it was a “no” followed with a surge or renewed desire to do better… and doing it. Sometimes it was the realization that I was not motivated to do something at 100% and wondering why the motivation was not present to do better.

I think the real gift in the exercise of this week for me was the conscious awareness of my effort vs lack of effort in all I did. Surprisingly, I found that there were many things I did not give my 100% and for no apparent reason.

In Haanel’s book “The Master Key System” part 4-9 reads:

If you cannot do these things it is because you have thus far not made the necessary effort. Now is the time to make the effort. The result will be exactly in proportion to the effort expended. One of the strongest affirmations which you can use for the purpose of strengthening the will and realizing your power to accomplish, is, “I can be what I will to be”.

I really want to change my life to the one I dream of living. I have wanted and tried for this change for alot of years. Time to stop trying and start doing 100%

Week 3 – Parent Teacher Conference

discipline-teacher

It must have been 4th grade…. or maybe 5th. You know that age where kids still listen to their parents and teachers with absolute respect and fear? And do as they are told?

I remember sitting next to my mom in the classroom with my teacher. It was early evening hours and it was parent teacher conference time. Somebody thought it was a good idea to have the young student present at the meeting to sit as if invisible while 2 of the most respected people talk about them.

Somehow my dad was absent from this meeting… it was clearly my mom’s job to make sure I was a good student and following all the rules. Deep down inside I was secretly grateful he wasn’t there… he was the Enforcer of Discipline.

I hated school by that point. Too much sitting… not enough coloring and art… and I didn’t have the social skills to make friends. I’d rather be out playing or making art.

My memory of that meeting is very blurry but the words are burned into my psyche that to this day hurt… “Doesn’t apply herself”… “Doesn’t follow through”… “Doesn’t work to her potential”… “Never finishes anything”… “Could be better at making friends”.

Who’s idea was it that it would be a good idea for the student to be present for this?

So this week… working on my homework for my mastermind requirements I notice some very familiar patterns rearing their ugly heads.

Like- not following through on the required reading every day, not pushing myself to do the work like I say I want to, not finishing the requirements until the Very. Last. Moment.

But what really sealed the deal… icing on the cake… nail in the coffin… was when Mark confessed on the webinar that at one point he realized that he was defiant… NOT doing something just because. Needing to be different.

And I realized THAT’S ME TOO. DON’T MAKE ME FOLLOW ANY RULES.

In my quest to be me, somehow I linked the need to be defiant with being different. In my quest to stand out… to be SOMEBODY… important… unique… I needed to be defiant.

And here I am… near retirement age, and still wondering when I get to live my life. When do I get to be ME and be successful. And just now realizing that to learn from successful people means I need to follow what they did… what they think… instead of my old blueprint that was given to me by a (probably well meaning) teacher.

Wow… the impact of words. The importance of choosing words to empower. The grace of choosing words of encouragement. Especially when talking to yourself.

Week 2 – I Have a Dream….

Wow…. its been a full year already for me. Cancer treatments have filled my 1st 9 months of this year and now my father passed away this past week.
 
I have spent alot of time reflecting on my 57 years on earth so far. I have reached a critical tipping point of tolerating a life that I’m living that is not my dream life.
 
It really makes me wonder why we are so conditioned by society… our parents, well meaning family and friends… that our dream life is exactly that…. a dream.
 
How dare we believe that our dream is not possible to achieve. Or that our dream is insignificant, or frivolous. Didn’t God put that dream in our heart?
 
My dream is to travel the world…. see beauty…. experience the wonderful diversity of history and culture…. And I also have a dream to become financially independent and to teach others. Especially to teach women… so they have the confidence to be financially independent on their own.
 
I have joined an amazing mastermind group that focuses on helping people make their dreams happen. And I am so thankful to have found this group as I don’t know how many more years of my life I could live living a lie… of not following my dream that is in my heart…. given to me by God.
 
This past week has had such an impact on me in the real awakening of my old blueprint of how I have been living my life. One that my parents and society and school helped to create for me…. BUT its not the one in my heart.
 
Every time I find myself doing or saying or thinking something from my old blueprint… I find a new power in recognizing that it is my old blueprint and choose a new blueprint that is in alignment with MY dream. True power….
 
Now to move forward and to let go of the old blueprint and define the new…. grab on and hold tight as I know life is quickly changing…. in the direction I WANT.