Week 20 – False Evidence Appearing Real

False Evidence Appearing Real……. FEAR

The question this week was how could we use guilt, fear, unworthiness, anger, and hurt as tools to grow.

I really connected with the fear part of this question. You see, that is where I have lived my entire life.

Fear of what people think. Fear of making a wrong decision. Fear of talking to people. Fear of being authentic and allowing myself to be vulnerable.

And yet I really want to be an “outgoing full of life and friends” type person!

It has been shown that we are born with 2 types of natural fear: The fear of loud sounds, and the fear of falling. Both very important aspects to be aware of from a survival standpoint…. and all other fears are learned.

So- how can I use this word…. emotion…. as a tool for learning?

I struggle with 2 major issues that I want to master yet in my life. I am going to allow myself to be vulnerable here…. because I am already feeling the judgement part of me becoming afraid of what you will think about this.

I struggle with releasing weight. And I struggle with earning money.

Some how in my deep dark recesses of my thoughts I have an intuitive knowing that they are connected. And so I took these thoughts with the intention of becoming aware of how to use it as a tool into my daily sit exercise and to see what came up.

I recognized in the first day that both are connected with fear. Fear of judgement, fear of not enough. I wanted to go down the path of trying to discover what it was in life that I developed those beliefs… only to realize on the 2nd day that that path was a dead end of spent energy for really no benefit. What I really wanted was to become the person I know I truly am and to reach the things in life that I want to achieve. Yes, I am pretty much happy already…. BUT I know i am not being the full potential of WHO I am, and that is what I want.

I realized through my sits that the fear was still present through out because I never really dealt with the things that would cause me to break through…. Like allowing vulnerability, like being impenetrable to people’s opinions…. like truly knowing that there is always enough…. Like knowing I AM ENOUGH.

There is a statement in the above video that I just love….

Behind every fear is the person you want to be.

I want to be who I want to be, and since fear is made up…. I am no longer willing to allow it to control my destiny.

I can have fear…. and fear will NOT have me.